CALL CENTER AGENT BLOOPERS

Take note that they may not be funny if you’re not Filipino. Some are in Tagalog, so we might have to do some translation along the way. So, I’d like to dedicate this post to fellow colleagues in the . Here are some that I could either relate to:

TSR: “It's C as in CAT.”
Customer: “What?”
TSR: "C as in CAT. C-A-T...meow meow..."

TSR: “Ok, sir. Do you have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?”
Customer: “What?!!”
TSR: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. Do you have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?
(applause)

CSR: “I was hoping you can take this survey with me. Would you have the time to do that, sir?”
Customer: “How long is this gonna to take?”
CS: “Mmm.. MGA three minutes....”
*slip of the vernacular*

TSR: “Alright, we're going to perform a checkdisk. That is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K...”
Customer: “What is that again?”
TSR: "C-H-K-D-S-K...that is... C as in Charlie...H as in Harley...K as in Karley...D as in Darley...S as in Sarley...and K as in Karly."
====================================================================
TSR : Sir may I please have a couple of minutes of your time.
Cust : "Heavy breathing", "panting", "Ahaa Ahaa" - Not now son im in the middle of doing somethin, give me 10 minutes.
TSR : sure sir i'll stay on the line.
Tsr : "oh dear" (cust did not hang up the phone, TSR listening in to cust. havin sex)...
====================================================================
Cust: Habla, Espanol?
CSR: Pardon?
Cust: Habla, Espanol?
CSR: Oh, let me transfer your call to a SPINISH SPAKING AGENT... (Spanish Speaking!)
==================================================================== csr: may i pls have your first name sir?
cu: robert
csr: ok let me verify that for you
====================================================================
Applicant: Agent ho?
Recruiter: Yes. Why do you want to work as a call center agent?
Applicant: Call center ho?
Recruiter: YES. This is a call center. My question is why are you interested?
Applicant: I am willing po.

Applicant: Because of the big bucks of money.. I want to hab a house

=============================================================================

Recruiter: Why do you want to work in a call center?
Applicant: From Manila Bulletin.
Recruiter: Ah okay, but my question is, why do you want to work here?
Applicant: Well, I graduated from CEU with a course of (blahblah…)

Applicant: I’m a work alcoholic.

Applicant: I’m the eldest and the only child in our family.

Applicant: I’m a hardworking… (end of the answer)

What do you know about the call center Industry?
Applicant: The call center industry is booming out, side by side, somewhere else.

Applicant: The call center is a booming industry for the past few days and I want to become part of that boom.

Applicant: It’s easy to be a call center, just looks arounds you, that why I want to become a call center!

==============================================================================

CSR: One last thing sir, may i have your city of birth?

CLIENT: What?

CSR: Your city of birth?

CLIENT: What? i can’t quite hear you.

CSR: (irita na) I said your city of birth, the place of your born!
(nagalit pa)

====================================================================

CSR: . . . and for our records, may i know yourchild’s bday?

CLIENT: Idon’t know her bday. .

CSR: Oh come on, it’s yourresponsibility to know your child’s bday. (tarayan ba ang customer?)

====================================================================

CS: …I’d like to speak with Billy Thompson please???
Contact: He’s not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CS: Sure, SIGE… (ay shyet, ulet!!!)

====================================================================

CS: Thank you for calling… this is Candy, how
may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was… Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it’s Candy…
Cust: Sorry, can’t hear ya… didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir… Candy… as in Storck!!!
(oohhh… now I get it!!!)
CS: Was that a “B” as in boy or a “B” as in bravo?
Cust: Uhhmmm… how about “B” as in bravo.
( PAREHONG TANGA !!!!)
======================================================================================
SR: It’s C as in CharLie… M as in Mary… and D
as in Dog
CUST: Did y0u say B as in B0y?
TSR: No sir, it’s D as in Dog… arf arf…
(ayuz! gaLing ata sa z0o et0ng daLawang t0!)
TSR: It’s CMD… Cust0mer Must Die…
CUST: (dead air)
(naghang-up na paLa… natak0t baka mamatay… )
TSR: It’s CMD… read my Lips….
(sige nga patingin baka mabasa k0 sa phone…
hehe… )
syempre hindi pahuhuLi ang mga agents sa
SYKES!
TSR: (sLeEpy m0de din… at kakagising din muLa
sa maikLing pagkakatuL0g habang
nagt0tr0ubLesh0ot) Okay n0w g0 t0 the b0tique…
(sL0wLy niya pang sinabi yun)
(aba sister, ang aLam k0 tech dispatch Lang ang
pede…)
TSR: (sLeEpy m0de take 4!) It’s capitaL F as
Mary…
CUST: okay and then what?
(eh baka ang gust0 m0ng sabihin eh Fairy?)
TSR: ch0ong ch0ong ch0ong… ch0o ch0o
ch0ooooong…
CUST: what? (pare mag mute ka naman…
haLatang nagLaLaro habang nagt0tr0ubLesh0ot eh)
habang may caLL et0ng agent na it0 eh bigLang
may mga dumaan na
nagkwekwentuhan ng maLakas in TagaL0g…
CUST: wh0 are th0se pe0pLe? Are y0u in
India?
TSR: N0… y0u’re in
PhiLippines..
(teka naLit0 ak0… sin0 bang nasa
PhiLippines?
yung caLLer 0 yung agent?
Nasan ba ak0 ateh? )
=====================================================================================
Filipin0 CUST: darLing are y0u a fiLipin0? (tagaL0g
na tagaL0g yung accent)
TSR: n0 ma’am I’m an american.(with c0nvicti0n
per0 tagaL0g na tagaL0g din yung accent!)
FiLipino CUST: are y0u sure ih0?
TSR: yes ma’am.
FiLipin0 CUST: sigurad0 ka?
TSR: yes ma’am.
(eh kaLa k0 ba kan0 ka?… )
=====================================================================================

Source:
www.callcenterscript.com
http://bloopers.bloghost.ro/category/call-center/
Source:www.superscription's.com.